“Yeah, well, you’re not a therapist.”
A flash in her eyes answered me before she even opened her mouth. A hint of the real Carrie shined through. About damn time. “No, but I am going to school for it.”
She pressed her lips together. “Still—”
“Nope. Not happening.”
She narrowed her eyes on me. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but you need to talk to someone. It will help you recover.”
Recover, my ass. Therapists made you talk because it made them money. End of story. It wouldn’t help me. Wouldn’t fix me. They’d just tell me to pop some pills and call me healed. Bullshit. I would do it my way, in my own time. “I’m already recovering.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m not talking about the visible injuries, Finn.”
“Yeah, well, they are the only ones that matter, as far as I’m concerned.” I hauled her closer. “Can you ever want me again, even with how scarred I am now?”
She shook her head, and for a second my worst nightmare came to life. “Finn, I never stopped wanting you, and I never will.” She rested her hands on my chest, and I almost collapsed from the relief surging through me. “So how can I possibly answer if I’d ever want you again?”
I tried to believe that.
Tried to be optimistic like I’d been before I went overseas and almost got blown to pieces like the rest of my buddies. But she had the benefit of not seeing inside my head. She didn’t know just how far gone I was—so she was still blissfully optimistic. Her world still had rainbows and butterflies and all that shit.
But me? I saw it all, and part of me thought it might be better for her if I walked away. But we’d promised to stay with each other. Promised no more running or lies.
Her eyes lowered, and her stare lingered over my abs before dipping even lower. Good. She could see what I fucking wanted right now—her. I wanted to remind her why she was with me, since she probably couldn’t see it anymore. Not when she looked at my wounds. All she saw was what I used to be.
She hesitated. “Finn, I don’t know if you’re ready yet...”
“Why wouldn’t I be ready?” I stepped closer, and she tilted her face up toward mine. Her pupils flared, and she bit down on her lower lip again. “I’ve been ready since I met you.”
Her mouth twitched into a reluctant smile. “You know what I mean. With people recovering from trauma, sex can be a trigger. It can make things worse. I don’t want to make you suffer—”
“The only way I’ll suffer,” I cupped her face with my good hand, my thumb under her jawline, “is if you say no. So don’t say no.”
Part of me needed to know she still wanted me, scars and all. She might be right, and this might not be good for my head, but fuck it. I needed it. I needed her.
Reaching for sunlight...
Finn survived the ambush and came home to me, but in his head, the battle is still raging. He’s falling apart and I’m trying my best to pick up the pieces of him, to find the us we used to be. I love him as much as I ever did, but love isn’t enough to fix this. I thought telling my father about our relationship would be the hardest thing we’d ever have to face. I was wrong.
Lost in shadows...
All I wanted was to be worthy of Carrie. One mission, just one, and I’d be able to give her the future she deserved. Then everything went wrong, leaving me tainted and broken. Carrie wants me to be who I was, but all that’s left is what they made of me. I’m no good for her. No good for anyone like this. I have to figure out how to move forward. Alone.
Sometimes love isn’t enough…
OUT OF LINE (Book #1)
Amazon - http://amzn.to/17HLrFu
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OUT OF TIME (Book #2)
Amazon - http://amzn.to/1daxXYL
B&N - http://bit.ly/1g7hPas
OUT OF MIND (Book #3)
Amazon - http://amzn.to/1lqa3cw
B&N - http://bit.ly/1mSkmpP
Jen McLaughlin is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. She writes steamy New Adult books for the young and young at heart. Her first release, Out of Line, came out September 2013. She also writes bestselling Contemporary Romance under the pen name Diane Alberts.Since receiving her first contract offer under the pen name Diane Alberts, she has yet to stop writing. She is represented by Louise Fury at The Bent Agency.
Though she lives in the mountains, she really wishes she was surrounded by a hot, sunny beach with crystal clear water. She lives in Northeast Pennsylvania with her four kids, a husband, a schnauzer mutt, a cat, and a Senegal parrot. In the rare moments when she’s not writing, she can usually be found hunched over one knitting project or another. Her goal is to write so many well-crafted romance books that even a non-romance reader will know her name.
Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/DianeAlberts6